When I arrived at the grocery to meet up with my dad last Thursday. He immediately opened up the topic about my course. He asked me if I really do want my course. My answer?. Well, I just raised my shoulders in an "I don't know manner", because I'm not really sure if this is what I want.
I guess I do miss writing, A LOT. It's been a big part of me after all. Maybe that's what I want to do, write. Then, I was thinking about shifting and all the troubles it would cause me and other people. But, is it all really worth the stress?
Hell, I don't know, I'm still confused about what I want. After all not everyone knows what they want. Every single decision we make as humans could be critical to the survival of one. I may be getting a bit carried away here, but hey, it could happen, we never know right?.
You must be thinking that maybe the smell of the paints I've been using lately have gone to my head, you may be wrong or you could even be right. I believe that I'm not thinking straight these days. My mind has been on a constant loop. Maybe it just needs time to reset itself, hmm, I don't know.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Lies
Lies. They make up our whole existence. This is one of the basic principles of life that every human has to learn. Whether we hate it or love it, we still have to accept it.
We often say that we hate it when people lie to us. But how about us lying to them?. Isn't it the same thing?. We should never say that all is fair in that way.
We're all human. We all make mistakes. None of us our perfect. Which makes us feel that life is so unfair.
Even in my possible career in the future, I have to sometimes sell lies. And to think, I never even thought it possible to sell lies. I only thought about it I guess around last week.
The problem is, lies are an inescapable circumstance. It benefits all, but it also destroys us.
Lies are the "loophole" of the life contract we unknowingly signed with God.
We often say that we hate it when people lie to us. But how about us lying to them?. Isn't it the same thing?. We should never say that all is fair in that way.
We're all human. We all make mistakes. None of us our perfect. Which makes us feel that life is so unfair.
Even in my possible career in the future, I have to sometimes sell lies. And to think, I never even thought it possible to sell lies. I only thought about it I guess around last week.
The problem is, lies are an inescapable circumstance. It benefits all, but it also destroys us.
Lies are the "loophole" of the life contract we unknowingly signed with God.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Every time I tried to do my plates/artwork assignments I would just run out of motivation to do so. It's been an awful while since I've last blogged, and I have to admit, I missed it. Drawing, sculpting, painting all week, is good and all, but for me, nothing beats writing down your thoughts.
I guess what's been distracting me from doing my plates is the thought that, my ex actually has someone else. Yes, I know it's stupid for me to feel this way. But I will admit that I'm not mad or upset cause I'm jealous, it's because he was the one who cheated on me, and now he's the one who's found love again before me. I just find it unfair. That's why I feel that it was like a really big slap in the face.
Right now I feel immature, stupid and down right crazy for having these emotions. I may have actually gone mental. Like what I always say, being single ROCKS!. But to have someone tell you that they love you and having to love them back in more than a platonic way, well, that also rocks.
I'm just remembering that I shouldn't be in a hurry to find love. I guess I should just let it find me. I'm enjoying being single and well boys are boys.:)
I guess what's been distracting me from doing my plates is the thought that, my ex actually has someone else. Yes, I know it's stupid for me to feel this way. But I will admit that I'm not mad or upset cause I'm jealous, it's because he was the one who cheated on me, and now he's the one who's found love again before me. I just find it unfair. That's why I feel that it was like a really big slap in the face.
Right now I feel immature, stupid and down right crazy for having these emotions. I may have actually gone mental. Like what I always say, being single ROCKS!. But to have someone tell you that they love you and having to love them back in more than a platonic way, well, that also rocks.
I'm just remembering that I shouldn't be in a hurry to find love. I guess I should just let it find me. I'm enjoying being single and well boys are boys.:)
Monday, June 29, 2009
You Are Not Alone(RIP Michael)
Before leaving for the US embassy last Friday, my parents told me that Michael Jackson just had a heart attack. I was shocked, but not that scared because I believed that he would survive through it.
Well anyway, went to the US embassy with my family to apply for a US visa. Thanks to God, St. Rita and all of those who prayed for us, because we were all granted a US visa. Anyway, we were ordered to not bring any electronic devices in the embassy. So I left my phone in the car. When I got my phone at around 11 I think, I saw that in one of Maiqui's gm's that Michael Jackson was pronounced dead. I didn't bother texting her because I thought that she was joking.
But when we got to my grandfather's home, my uncle told us that Michael Jackson just died. I immediately ran to the TV and switched it to CNN. I was pretty much devastated. To be honest, Michael Jackson is one of my inspirations when it comes to music and writing songs. He is one of those artists that I loved even way back when I was little girl.
Of course when I was kid I loved his Christmas songs the most. As I grew up and I heard his different songs, I was instantly drawn. I thank my dad for showing me the different kinds of music. But I really won't forget the day when I was absent in grade school and I was flipping through some channels. Then I stopped in the Philippine music channel entitled MYX. Suddenly MJ's MV Black or White was on and I knew that there was something with that song that couldn't stop making me play that in my head. I think that that was the very first MJ MV that I have ever watched.
I will always believe that Michael Jackson is, was and always will be a music legend. May his legacy live on forever. RIP Michael. We love you.
Well anyway, went to the US embassy with my family to apply for a US visa. Thanks to God, St. Rita and all of those who prayed for us, because we were all granted a US visa. Anyway, we were ordered to not bring any electronic devices in the embassy. So I left my phone in the car. When I got my phone at around 11 I think, I saw that in one of Maiqui's gm's that Michael Jackson was pronounced dead. I didn't bother texting her because I thought that she was joking.
But when we got to my grandfather's home, my uncle told us that Michael Jackson just died. I immediately ran to the TV and switched it to CNN. I was pretty much devastated. To be honest, Michael Jackson is one of my inspirations when it comes to music and writing songs. He is one of those artists that I loved even way back when I was little girl.
Of course when I was kid I loved his Christmas songs the most. As I grew up and I heard his different songs, I was instantly drawn. I thank my dad for showing me the different kinds of music. But I really won't forget the day when I was absent in grade school and I was flipping through some channels. Then I stopped in the Philippine music channel entitled MYX. Suddenly MJ's MV Black or White was on and I knew that there was something with that song that couldn't stop making me play that in my head. I think that that was the very first MJ MV that I have ever watched.
I will always believe that Michael Jackson is, was and always will be a music legend. May his legacy live on forever. RIP Michael. We love you.
Monday, June 15, 2009
My First Day Sucked. How About Yours?
Today was my day to say so long to summer and hello to college. My class today was supposed to start at 10. So I got to UST at around 9:30. When it was about to become 10 I went to my bldg and that was the only time that I found out that all of the bldgs were to open at 1.
So I waited in front of the UST hospital for about an hour til Frances came and thank God she came. I couldn't stand being alone anymore. It felt so emo. haha. Anyway when it was about to become 1pm Frances went inside her bldg and again I was left alone to wait all by my lonesome since my class wasn't until 2.
Then as it was quarter to 2 I went inside my bldg and searched for my room. There I found soooo many people waiting for their classes to start. Soon, I turned into one of those people. After maybe about 15-20 mins of waiting outside or so, an upper class men told us froshies that our room wasn't there pa daw. There I met Aishia. She was the first person to talk to me. So we went to the deans office and asked what was up with the hold up. They told us that our class was in the engineering bldg at the same room number. So Aishia and I went there together.
When we got to the room we sat down and waited and waited and waited, still no prof. It was about an hour til one of the sections also from adver knocked on our door and told us that they heard that if the prof doesn't show up in an hour you should either head home or just plain leave.
So I was one of those first people to walk out that room and decide to go home. Hell, I was tired, thirsty and sleepy. To top it all off I didn't get anything from the day. The only positive thing that came out was meeting a new friend and seeing my old ones.
So that's my first day. It sucked ass. Hopefully it won't suck tom. Praying that it'll be a productive and fun-filled day tom. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that.
So I waited in front of the UST hospital for about an hour til Frances came and thank God she came. I couldn't stand being alone anymore. It felt so emo. haha. Anyway when it was about to become 1pm Frances went inside her bldg and again I was left alone to wait all by my lonesome since my class wasn't until 2.
Then as it was quarter to 2 I went inside my bldg and searched for my room. There I found soooo many people waiting for their classes to start. Soon, I turned into one of those people. After maybe about 15-20 mins of waiting outside or so, an upper class men told us froshies that our room wasn't there pa daw. There I met Aishia. She was the first person to talk to me. So we went to the deans office and asked what was up with the hold up. They told us that our class was in the engineering bldg at the same room number. So Aishia and I went there together.
When we got to the room we sat down and waited and waited and waited, still no prof. It was about an hour til one of the sections also from adver knocked on our door and told us that they heard that if the prof doesn't show up in an hour you should either head home or just plain leave.
So I was one of those first people to walk out that room and decide to go home. Hell, I was tired, thirsty and sleepy. To top it all off I didn't get anything from the day. The only positive thing that came out was meeting a new friend and seeing my old ones.
So that's my first day. It sucked ass. Hopefully it won't suck tom. Praying that it'll be a productive and fun-filled day tom. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A Very Late Mom's Day Blog:)
Hearing your mother or any other mother rant or nag is a person's worst nightmare. It's an even bigger nightmare for the child of the mother who's ranting. I think it's because we know we are powerless before the mighty words our mother's let out, you can almost say that a rant is totally fast and furious.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mother just as much as the next person, but you sure as hell shouldn't make her mad, OR ELSE!. You shall suffer her wrath. I'm sure everyone agrees with me. I just really find it very very scary when my mom gets all angry. I would soooo not want to get get in her way. haha
It's almost like a storm, when there's an early prediction you would like to stay away from the storm or atleast protect yourself from certain dangers the storm may bring. Then when the storm dies down, that's when it's safe.
That's why I really try my best to please my mom. Of course when I've done something wrong or if I need something I smile here and there and I also try to do something really nice. haha. Yes, I'm that obvious. lol!
But even through all the constant rants and nags I thank my mother for that. After all that's what keeps me from being an insane and out of line child. A very late mother's day blog. haha. Anyway thanks mom. I love you :)
Father's day is just around the corner. Still thinking about a gift.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mother just as much as the next person, but you sure as hell shouldn't make her mad, OR ELSE!. You shall suffer her wrath. I'm sure everyone agrees with me. I just really find it very very scary when my mom gets all angry. I would soooo not want to get get in her way. haha
It's almost like a storm, when there's an early prediction you would like to stay away from the storm or atleast protect yourself from certain dangers the storm may bring. Then when the storm dies down, that's when it's safe.
That's why I really try my best to please my mom. Of course when I've done something wrong or if I need something I smile here and there and I also try to do something really nice. haha. Yes, I'm that obvious. lol!
But even through all the constant rants and nags I thank my mother for that. After all that's what keeps me from being an insane and out of line child. A very late mother's day blog. haha. Anyway thanks mom. I love you :)
Father's day is just around the corner. Still thinking about a gift.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Random Rants
Every night before I sleep. I have these constant thought running through my mind. Well, it's practically a routine for me. I think for about an hour. No matter how hard I try to stop, they still keep on going.
Counting doesn't seem to help even thinking of a white room to make me relax just makes me think even more. This makes me feel all miserable and tired. Leaving me with saggy eyes and I get to wake up pretty late.
Which is a total drag considering that my first day of colleges is in 3 days. I have to wake up at 5 because of the 40 minute travel time from my house to school. I've gotten so used to my 2 month regimen of waking up at exactly 5 mins before 10. Eating brunch, going on the computer for the rest of the day or sleeping for the remaining hours.
Yes, my life is boring. It's only boring here when it comes to the house since I don't do anything here. That's why I always schedule a gimmick with my friends at least once a week. Just to keep me sane and as to keep my social life from going kaput.
Have to admit I'm really going to miss my friends from high school. Since we're all going our separate ways, attending different colleges and all. It's scary yet exciting. But new adventures and friends await us in the days to come.
Counting doesn't seem to help even thinking of a white room to make me relax just makes me think even more. This makes me feel all miserable and tired. Leaving me with saggy eyes and I get to wake up pretty late.
Which is a total drag considering that my first day of colleges is in 3 days. I have to wake up at 5 because of the 40 minute travel time from my house to school. I've gotten so used to my 2 month regimen of waking up at exactly 5 mins before 10. Eating brunch, going on the computer for the rest of the day or sleeping for the remaining hours.
Yes, my life is boring. It's only boring here when it comes to the house since I don't do anything here. That's why I always schedule a gimmick with my friends at least once a week. Just to keep me sane and as to keep my social life from going kaput.
Have to admit I'm really going to miss my friends from high school. Since we're all going our separate ways, attending different colleges and all. It's scary yet exciting. But new adventures and friends await us in the days to come.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Gusto Ko Lamang Sa Buhay....(First Tagalog Blog)
Simula ng tinatanong ako nung 2nd or 3rd year ng high school kung ano yung ambisyon ko sa buhay, parang wala akong masagot, kundi "Uhm. ewan ko po.". Parang minsan ang sarap ngang sabihin "Wala pa kong plano, ikaw ba may plano nung ganitong taon ka?!". Oo na, ang sungit ng dating. Pero nakakairita lang kasi kung parating tinatanong yun sayo. Parang papatong patong yung bigat ng pressure na dala mo.
Hanggang ngayon parang pakiramdam ko wala pa din akong direksyon sa buhay. Nung bata ako gusto ko maging doctor. Para makatulong sa mga may sakit. Pero nung medyo dumevelop na yung brain cells ko parang nung nakakita na ko ng mga malalaking sugat sa ibang tao parang nandidiri ako ng di ko makayanan. Kaya hindi ko na lang naisipan maging doctor ulit.
Habang palaki ako nang palaki. Dumaan naman sa isip ko yung pagiging astronaut. Ambisyoso ako non. Mahilig mag feeling. Pero mabilis din yung naglaho kasi sa US lang yung mga magandang aeronautics na eskwelahan. Nangarap pa naman ako makapag talon sa outer space. Inaamin ko, feeling akong bata. Lahat naman tayo feeling dati eh. haha!
Pero simula nung gumagawa na ko ng mga tula at mga storya nung mga late grade school, nakakatanggap na ko ng mga sabi mula sa mga teacher at mga kaklase na magaling akong magsulat. Kaya napag isipan kong maging writer o journalist. Kung ano man yung mas bagay sa kin.
Yung gusto ko lang naman ngayon sa buhay ay makapag sulat nang makapag sulat. Don naman kasi ako nakakapaglabas ng damdamin eh. Tsaka dito mas naiintindihan ng mga tao kung ano yung mga gusto kong sabihin. Parang wala nang pasikot sikot. Basta andon na yung punto ko sa mga pinagsusulat ko. Malay ko ba kung ano yung mararating ko sa pag asam na toh. May tatanggap nga ba sa kin?. Ano nga ba yung magagawa ko sa pagsusulat lamang?. May mahahantungan nga ba ako sa mga pinagsusulat ko?. Hmm. Siguro maghihintay na lang muna ako at titignan ko kung san ako madadala nitong gusto ko.
Hanggang ngayon parang pakiramdam ko wala pa din akong direksyon sa buhay. Nung bata ako gusto ko maging doctor. Para makatulong sa mga may sakit. Pero nung medyo dumevelop na yung brain cells ko parang nung nakakita na ko ng mga malalaking sugat sa ibang tao parang nandidiri ako ng di ko makayanan. Kaya hindi ko na lang naisipan maging doctor ulit.
Habang palaki ako nang palaki. Dumaan naman sa isip ko yung pagiging astronaut. Ambisyoso ako non. Mahilig mag feeling. Pero mabilis din yung naglaho kasi sa US lang yung mga magandang aeronautics na eskwelahan. Nangarap pa naman ako makapag talon sa outer space. Inaamin ko, feeling akong bata. Lahat naman tayo feeling dati eh. haha!
Pero simula nung gumagawa na ko ng mga tula at mga storya nung mga late grade school, nakakatanggap na ko ng mga sabi mula sa mga teacher at mga kaklase na magaling akong magsulat. Kaya napag isipan kong maging writer o journalist. Kung ano man yung mas bagay sa kin.
Yung gusto ko lang naman ngayon sa buhay ay makapag sulat nang makapag sulat. Don naman kasi ako nakakapaglabas ng damdamin eh. Tsaka dito mas naiintindihan ng mga tao kung ano yung mga gusto kong sabihin. Parang wala nang pasikot sikot. Basta andon na yung punto ko sa mga pinagsusulat ko. Malay ko ba kung ano yung mararating ko sa pag asam na toh. May tatanggap nga ba sa kin?. Ano nga ba yung magagawa ko sa pagsusulat lamang?. May mahahantungan nga ba ako sa mga pinagsusulat ko?. Hmm. Siguro maghihintay na lang muna ako at titignan ko kung san ako madadala nitong gusto ko.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Nothing Is Ever Set In Stone
Summer's about to come to it's close. To be honest, I am soooo not ready to say goodbye to summer. Well no one is. Not unless you're that psyched up for school. To tell you now, I'm have half-half feelings regarding school. Most especially now that I'm an incoming college freshie.
First I want to go to school because finally I have something to do, after 2 months of lounging around. haha. Basically the reasons that I'm excited and nervous are all the same. I'm mostly nervous because I haven't made any new friends in UST and that makes me hella scared. Even though my friends constantly remind me that I'm friendly and that I can make friends easily. I'm still not calmed down by their words of wisdom and comfort.
It's the 1sy day of kindergarten all over again. Almost everything is new. Except for our sheer enthusiasm to learn. Yay?. haha. I'm just going to have to suck it up. Hell I'm not going to be a wuss most especially now that I'm going into college.
Alot of things are going through my mind right now. Constant running of thoughts, of people, of things, of events, etc. I don't know why but when someone close to me is sad I suddenly empathize with them. I have no idea why. Like when I was a little girl if my sister would cry, my eyes would suddenly get all teary. Maybe I really don't have a heart of stone. haha. Well Nadine and Jean know about how I'm feeling. They were the ones who I was talking to about the thing last night or this morning.
Everything that happens comes as such a surprise. We feel that we've braced ourselves for the worst, but when it comes it turns out we're not as ready as we thought we were. Nothing is permanent. Not unless you're that dedicated to make it set in stone and not let anything or anyone get in your way to ruin it.
First I want to go to school because finally I have something to do, after 2 months of lounging around. haha. Basically the reasons that I'm excited and nervous are all the same. I'm mostly nervous because I haven't made any new friends in UST and that makes me hella scared. Even though my friends constantly remind me that I'm friendly and that I can make friends easily. I'm still not calmed down by their words of wisdom and comfort.
It's the 1sy day of kindergarten all over again. Almost everything is new. Except for our sheer enthusiasm to learn. Yay?. haha. I'm just going to have to suck it up. Hell I'm not going to be a wuss most especially now that I'm going into college.
Alot of things are going through my mind right now. Constant running of thoughts, of people, of things, of events, etc. I don't know why but when someone close to me is sad I suddenly empathize with them. I have no idea why. Like when I was a little girl if my sister would cry, my eyes would suddenly get all teary. Maybe I really don't have a heart of stone. haha. Well Nadine and Jean know about how I'm feeling. They were the ones who I was talking to about the thing last night or this morning.
Everything that happens comes as such a surprise. We feel that we've braced ourselves for the worst, but when it comes it turns out we're not as ready as we thought we were. Nothing is permanent. Not unless you're that dedicated to make it set in stone and not let anything or anyone get in your way to ruin it.
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Rain and The Virus are Starting to Get Me
It's been raining like crazy for the past week now. I'm not really a big fan of it as to say. During my elementary and high school days I used to be so ecstatic when they'd say that classes on all levels would be suspended. Cause that would mean a day of rest and nothing to do.
Well now that I'm about to start college in UST. I officially hate the rain. haha. Everyone knows that when it rains like crazy, it causes a crazy flood over at Espana. It's almost like an extension of the Ganges river. haha. Yes I am going overboard again. But my tita who studies there told me that when the rain dies down the "river" resceeds. So goodluck to everyone when the rainy season comes. Well the rainy season has already come. sooooo
Anyway, the opening of classes in UST have been moved to the 15th. Mainly due to the a(h1n1) virus reaching DLSU. To be honest it even freaks me out. My mom's office is being really really precautionary about the whole outbreak. This whole epidemic is practially driving eveyone insane. I'm so scared about it I was even thinking about not going out for almost a whole week. But hell, I know that's not going to stop the outbreak. That's why frok now on I'm going to bring hand sanitizer or alcohol anywhere I go. Yes, I may sound paranoid. Well I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'm getting all O.C once again. This is all just crazy if you ask me.
Well now that I'm about to start college in UST. I officially hate the rain. haha. Everyone knows that when it rains like crazy, it causes a crazy flood over at Espana. It's almost like an extension of the Ganges river. haha. Yes I am going overboard again. But my tita who studies there told me that when the rain dies down the "river" resceeds. So goodluck to everyone when the rainy season comes. Well the rainy season has already come. sooooo
Anyway, the opening of classes in UST have been moved to the 15th. Mainly due to the a(h1n1) virus reaching DLSU. To be honest it even freaks me out. My mom's office is being really really precautionary about the whole outbreak. This whole epidemic is practially driving eveyone insane. I'm so scared about it I was even thinking about not going out for almost a whole week. But hell, I know that's not going to stop the outbreak. That's why frok now on I'm going to bring hand sanitizer or alcohol anywhere I go. Yes, I may sound paranoid. Well I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'm getting all O.C once again. This is all just crazy if you ask me.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Simple Kind of Life
Just came home from HSS. Yes, as in Holy Spirit School. Met up with Rosa and Frances. Then Lulu and Vance followed. We went there to chat with old teachers and to just reminisce before our school starts. Well the QCumbers were all supposed to come but we were short of 3. So that was disappointing. But we still had a great time though.
Well to get home I had to commute yet again. But the rain got even stronger. When it died down a bit then did Vance and I walk to the LRT station. Even though I was wearing my black chucks they got wet. Hell even my socks get wet. I was covered all over and I even had an umbrella. But I still got pretty wet.
So then it went to my mind that this is what I need to prepare for next week if ever. The rain would proabably get worse and the streets would be flooded. Then right now, all I want to do is rest and have some really good dinner. haha. Hopefully they cooked something real yummy. I don't want to think about any thing that would worry me for the moment. I guess I really do know that I just have a few days of rest before starting on a new adventure. Yeeeeee. Scaaaarrryy. haha!
Well to get home I had to commute yet again. But the rain got even stronger. When it died down a bit then did Vance and I walk to the LRT station. Even though I was wearing my black chucks they got wet. Hell even my socks get wet. I was covered all over and I even had an umbrella. But I still got pretty wet.
So then it went to my mind that this is what I need to prepare for next week if ever. The rain would proabably get worse and the streets would be flooded. Then right now, all I want to do is rest and have some really good dinner. haha. Hopefully they cooked something real yummy. I don't want to think about any thing that would worry me for the moment. I guess I really do know that I just have a few days of rest before starting on a new adventure. Yeeeeee. Scaaaarrryy. haha!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Just Let Go And Breath:)
Have you ever felt so out of touch with someone whom you've know for almost your whole life. It sounds crazy, but even the closest person to you could seem as a total stranger to you in so many ways. Knowing someone is not enough, you have to understand them and feel for them to truly be in touch with them. That's just how life is. It complicates things that are already complicated to begin with.
Often we force things to happen according to our will. But, life never works like that. We feel that we can tell things from the other. Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't. Just the thought of not being able to take control of things drives us crazy.
After all, that's what most of us want, control. For without control, we won't be able to have things to our advantage. Without it, we're forced to let go and wait. To wait for an outcome and to watch without having to do anything to our grasp.
In some cases, we should just let go. Losing control doesn't necessarily mean that you have nothing left. It just means that you need to jump back to reality. Just take a deep breath and relax.
Remember, it's not the end of the world if you don't have the world in your tiny little grasp. I know how random my thoughts may be, but this is part of me letting go. You should try it to.:)
Often we force things to happen according to our will. But, life never works like that. We feel that we can tell things from the other. Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't. Just the thought of not being able to take control of things drives us crazy.
After all, that's what most of us want, control. For without control, we won't be able to have things to our advantage. Without it, we're forced to let go and wait. To wait for an outcome and to watch without having to do anything to our grasp.
In some cases, we should just let go. Losing control doesn't necessarily mean that you have nothing left. It just means that you need to jump back to reality. Just take a deep breath and relax.
Remember, it's not the end of the world if you don't have the world in your tiny little grasp. I know how random my thoughts may be, but this is part of me letting go. You should try it to.:)
Monday, May 25, 2009
From Kiddies To Teens
After barely even a week of posting my last week, I have found some old pictures of Miggy, Ted, Therese and I, waaaay back when we were kiddies. haha. Hopefully they won't try to kill me once they see this blog. Sorry guys but I love you. haha!. After all blood is thicker than waterXP
First imma start out with my little sister. Since she's the youngest in the group. So I'll be posting 2 pics of each of us. One was when we were little, the 2nd one would be a present pic. So here it goes.:
Then next is Ted. I found it really hard to find a pic of him in our albums, because he was always with someone. Hopefully this pic is ok. Don't get mad at me ah. Ang cute mo naman eh:)))))))))))))))
Next would be me. I had curly hair, just like my mom's, when I was little. I didn't know what happened though. As I grew up my hair became straighter. haha. Weird.
Then last but never the least. Is Miggy. Monster si Miggy dati and he still is one now. haha!. kidding!(I think)
First imma start out with my little sister. Since she's the youngest in the group. So I'll be posting 2 pics of each of us. One was when we were little, the 2nd one would be a present pic. So here it goes.:
Then next is Ted. I found it really hard to find a pic of him in our albums, because he was always with someone. Hopefully this pic is ok. Don't get mad at me ah. Ang cute mo naman eh:)))))))))))))))
Next would be me. I had curly hair, just like my mom's, when I was little. I didn't know what happened though. As I grew up my hair became straighter. haha. Weird.
Then last but never the least. Is Miggy. Monster si Miggy dati and he still is one now. haha!. kidding!(I think)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Boys Are Better When They've Grown Up:))
There are many things in this world that I don't understand. Well, one of those many things is the relationship between boys and video games. lol!. Why the hell am I making a blog about this, I don't know either. I just find it hard to figure out.
I feel so weird right now. Haha. Because I'm making a blog about this. I just honestly don't get what it is with boys and video games. When my guy cousins and I were little kids and we would hang out at my cousin Ted's place, Miggy and Ted would pay more attention to the TV screen and the play station config that was attached to it. haha!. Anyway that was back then. Now they talk to us more. We text each other and comment on fb and multiply. At least now we actually talk.
Back when we were kids we would play together. But it would always be boys against girls. So it would be and my sister against Ted and Miggy. Of course unfair advantage and boys kasi what we played were "baril-barilan" or the fight in who would reign supreme in the wrestling match on the PS. But when my sister and I would cry because of them, and our uncle's and aunt's would see us, ofcourse we'd hold the belt in that division. haha!
Now we're all grown up. Ted and Therese are in high school, while Miggy and I are incoming college freshmen. We get along better now, which is good. Hopefully that all goes a looong way. haha
I'll try to find a matino picture of us four from our totoy and nene days:))
I feel so weird right now. Haha. Because I'm making a blog about this. I just honestly don't get what it is with boys and video games. When my guy cousins and I were little kids and we would hang out at my cousin Ted's place, Miggy and Ted would pay more attention to the TV screen and the play station config that was attached to it. haha!. Anyway that was back then. Now they talk to us more. We text each other and comment on fb and multiply. At least now we actually talk.
Back when we were kids we would play together. But it would always be boys against girls. So it would be and my sister against Ted and Miggy. Of course unfair advantage and boys kasi what we played were "baril-barilan" or the fight in who would reign supreme in the wrestling match on the PS. But when my sister and I would cry because of them, and our uncle's and aunt's would see us, ofcourse we'd hold the belt in that division. haha!
Now we're all grown up. Ted and Therese are in high school, while Miggy and I are incoming college freshmen. We get along better now, which is good. Hopefully that all goes a looong way. haha
I'll try to find a matino picture of us four from our totoy and nene days:))
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Life Is Still So Fragile
Life is short. This is what I learn when someone I know has passed away. Never would you think that someone would be taken by the Lord so fast. Sometimes it comes so unexpectedly. So it comes as a real shock that you try to make sure that it had actually happened and that it wasn't some nightmare. But then, it most cases we expect it, we expect it so much that when it happens, some of us go all numb inside that we don't tend to show our real emotions, not until we're all alone.
I really do believe that every day should be lived to the fullest. For if we regret one day. We could try and make up for it the next day. It's not exactly the end of the world when you lose at something. You could always work on it over and over again.
Dreaming is what gets us through this life. That's where most of our expectations start. But if we do something to achieve those dreams. Then it'll really work out for us. It's not enough to dream. If we really do want that dream then we should do something to make it come true.
What I'm trying to say is live everyday as if it were your last. And from now on never live life with regrets. Well, if you do have regrets then turn them around or just make them work out for you not to have regrets anymore. Life is this trip that is worth taking if you make it an unforgettable trip.
I really do believe that every day should be lived to the fullest. For if we regret one day. We could try and make up for it the next day. It's not exactly the end of the world when you lose at something. You could always work on it over and over again.
Dreaming is what gets us through this life. That's where most of our expectations start. But if we do something to achieve those dreams. Then it'll really work out for us. It's not enough to dream. If we really do want that dream then we should do something to make it come true.
What I'm trying to say is live everyday as if it were your last. And from now on never live life with regrets. Well, if you do have regrets then turn them around or just make them work out for you not to have regrets anymore. Life is this trip that is worth taking if you make it an unforgettable trip.
Monday, May 18, 2009
I'm A Mess Without Technology
Just awhile ago when my parents arrived home my dad told me that he texted me and that I didn't reply. I told him that I was taking a bath when he texted which was why I wasn't able to reply. He then told me that he was surprised to find me not replying to his texts because he thinks that it's impossible for me not to reply to texts. Well hell, my dad's right. I rely on my cellphone 24/7. I only leave my phone at home when I'm going to short trips to the supermarket, to the salon or when I'm going to church. But, anything other than those occasions I bring my phone with me constantly.
Just like any other teenager in this century I am inseparable from technology. It's one of the things that make me live. Hey!. Don't say I'm going overboard here but alot of people there are like me. Well, I look at my phone almost every 5 minutes to check for messages that any ogf my friends have sent me. I also go online almost like 2-3 times a day if I'm at home the whole day. I go constantly online because ofcourse there is nothing much to do here aside from the occasional phone calls from my friends, watching tv and stuffing myself with the food in the kitchen.
Let's be honest with ourselves. Without technology we would so be living hard today. Connecting with friends through cans connected with string is so old fashioned. I would have to agree to Gino Quillamor's blog about technology. Here's the link btw http://geekygangster.blogspot.com/
Me - cellphone= bored/wondering/insane Patsy. Yes I just referred to myself as a third person. It's true that I find it hard to live without a phone. Even if I don't have load I still want my phone by me at all times. It's really weird of me but true.
I need to go on a techno hiatus. haha!. I'll find a day to just relax and let go of technology for awhile. But I will go back to it though:))
Just like any other teenager in this century I am inseparable from technology. It's one of the things that make me live. Hey!. Don't say I'm going overboard here but alot of people there are like me. Well, I look at my phone almost every 5 minutes to check for messages that any ogf my friends have sent me. I also go online almost like 2-3 times a day if I'm at home the whole day. I go constantly online because ofcourse there is nothing much to do here aside from the occasional phone calls from my friends, watching tv and stuffing myself with the food in the kitchen.
Let's be honest with ourselves. Without technology we would so be living hard today. Connecting with friends through cans connected with string is so old fashioned. I would have to agree to Gino Quillamor's blog about technology. Here's the link btw http://geekygangster.blogspot.com/
Me - cellphone= bored/wondering/insane Patsy. Yes I just referred to myself as a third person. It's true that I find it hard to live without a phone. Even if I don't have load I still want my phone by me at all times. It's really weird of me but true.
I need to go on a techno hiatus. haha!. I'll find a day to just relax and let go of technology for awhile. But I will go back to it though:))
Sunday, May 17, 2009
My First Ever Post On Youtube And I Blew It:))
So today was the first time I have ever posted a video on youtube. I am more scared than proud of myself. haha. I'm proud that I actually got the guts to post a video. I've had an account on youtube ever since 2006. The purpose for it to me was to just comment and subscribe to my youtube idols.
Then during summer this year I just thought of posting videos. The videos are going to be me singing. Luisa and I are planning to post videos of us just voicing out our thoughts. So we're gonna video blog or vlog or whatever the term may be. Luisa and I love speaking out. haha. So watch out for that. I'll also be blogging about it here on blogspot and on multiply.
Anyway here's the video that I posted on youtube. I blew the end part. It was really high. Very out of my voice range. Anyway tell me what you think about it.:)
Then during summer this year I just thought of posting videos. The videos are going to be me singing. Luisa and I are planning to post videos of us just voicing out our thoughts. So we're gonna video blog or vlog or whatever the term may be. Luisa and I love speaking out. haha. So watch out for that. I'll also be blogging about it here on blogspot and on multiply.
Anyway here's the video that I posted on youtube. I blew the end part. It was really high. Very out of my voice range. Anyway tell me what you think about it.:)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Back2Me
Being in love is not always a choice, sometimes it just happens. Which for me, really is one of the most scary and unpredictable part of life. Having the feeling of love may take you to as high as the heavens. But it could also bring you to incomprehensible depths that you've never thought you'd reach.
I can honestly say that I've been in both of those situations. Having loved someone as more than a friend. Thinking of him has always made me wonder of what could be. How it would feel to hold his hand, to actually go out on a date with him and to even kiss him. I know it may seem weird. I bet you're thinking that I got into a relationship with a guy who I don't even know or haven't even met in the first place. Well, let me tell you now that that thought's wrong. I know how to love and when I fell in love with him, I knew in my heart that there was something with him that me feel all special inside and out. Don't be quick to judge. After all you may not know me that well.
The reason why I wonder is because, he left when we were still together. Now don't jump into conclusions and say that he left without telling me. Well he did tell me and we both never thought that he was leaving for good. But then, that unfortunate surprise hit us like thunder. He was not to come back. In spite of that we still stayed together. I don't know why I agreed. But I guess that's what my mind and my heart told me. I was scared but still certain at the same time.
That's what love is, it makes you feel all kinds of feelings. It could make you all loony at one point and sane in another point. It's this trip that most people think they know what they're in for, but truth is they're not. So expect the unexpected.
Now, he and I aren't together anymore. I thought that I could forget him. It's been so long and still, I'm not certain if that love hasn't changed. I think the feelings are coming back. But I really can't say for sure.
Even through all the pain he's caused me, I don't know why I even concentrate on all the joy he's brought me. Maybe it's because I believed in the saying that "All the happy memories over weigh all the bad ones". That was just who I am. No matter what others said to me I still had the heart and mind to forgive. I forgive out of love.
I may sound all mushy now, but hell, that's who I am. This is how I let out my thoughts. Leaving them for everyone to see. Because every word makes me let go and feel more free of the thoughts that hold me back.
Right now, I feel more confused and I really want things to be all straightened out. What I think I have to do now is wait, because time is most precious right now. And as I wait for time to pass by, I'll certainly think more of what I feel. Hopefully I can get it all out of my system.
I can honestly say that I've been in both of those situations. Having loved someone as more than a friend. Thinking of him has always made me wonder of what could be. How it would feel to hold his hand, to actually go out on a date with him and to even kiss him. I know it may seem weird. I bet you're thinking that I got into a relationship with a guy who I don't even know or haven't even met in the first place. Well, let me tell you now that that thought's wrong. I know how to love and when I fell in love with him, I knew in my heart that there was something with him that me feel all special inside and out. Don't be quick to judge. After all you may not know me that well.
The reason why I wonder is because, he left when we were still together. Now don't jump into conclusions and say that he left without telling me. Well he did tell me and we both never thought that he was leaving for good. But then, that unfortunate surprise hit us like thunder. He was not to come back. In spite of that we still stayed together. I don't know why I agreed. But I guess that's what my mind and my heart told me. I was scared but still certain at the same time.
That's what love is, it makes you feel all kinds of feelings. It could make you all loony at one point and sane in another point. It's this trip that most people think they know what they're in for, but truth is they're not. So expect the unexpected.
Now, he and I aren't together anymore. I thought that I could forget him. It's been so long and still, I'm not certain if that love hasn't changed. I think the feelings are coming back. But I really can't say for sure.
Even through all the pain he's caused me, I don't know why I even concentrate on all the joy he's brought me. Maybe it's because I believed in the saying that "All the happy memories over weigh all the bad ones". That was just who I am. No matter what others said to me I still had the heart and mind to forgive. I forgive out of love.
I may sound all mushy now, but hell, that's who I am. This is how I let out my thoughts. Leaving them for everyone to see. Because every word makes me let go and feel more free of the thoughts that hold me back.
Right now, I feel more confused and I really want things to be all straightened out. What I think I have to do now is wait, because time is most precious right now. And as I wait for time to pass by, I'll certainly think more of what I feel. Hopefully I can get it all out of my system.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Are You One Of Them?
Hey! finally, the 21 Q-Cumbers have decided to reveal the codenames we made up for some incongruous reasons...
oh yeah! i know you hate/annoy ‘em, but it's only life though,
you are who you are. you make your own life stories. the world oblivious of how you deny that we're sooo observant! :))
friends, and foes.. here it goes..
• bear1
• bear2
• durian
• rambutan
• betty
• armando
• venus
• mars
• langgams na pumapapak sa Chocnut
• snow white
• frosty
• dwarfs- lagging kasama ni snow white
• strawberry
• district 1 & 2
• kulto- katakot kasma
• boom boom- may twin siya..
• Douglas-
• Bodyguard- effective na bouncer!
• Vice
• BTS
• Chenelyn
• BRO.
• Popoy the 2nd
• Best friend ni Patsy
• Chokie!
• Mga Pagong
• Asshoole
• C.P. (lovelife ni popoy)
• Aircon
• Tentay
• Manila
• Racket
• Sabon
• Boy barako
• Boy tira
• Basilio
• Isagani
• Madam
oh yeah! i know you hate/annoy ‘em, but it's only life though,
you are who you are. you make your own life stories. the world oblivious of how you deny that we're sooo observant! :))
friends, and foes.. here it goes..
• bear1
• bear2
• durian
• rambutan
• betty
• armando
• venus
• mars
• langgams na pumapapak sa Chocnut
• snow white
• frosty
• dwarfs- lagging kasama ni snow white
• strawberry
• district 1 & 2
• kulto- katakot kasma
• boom boom- may twin siya..
• Douglas-
• Bodyguard- effective na bouncer!
• Vice
• BTS
• Chenelyn
• BRO.
• Popoy the 2nd
• Best friend ni Patsy
• Chokie!
• Mga Pagong
• Asshoole
• C.P. (lovelife ni popoy)
• Aircon
• Tentay
• Manila
• Racket
• Sabon
• Boy barako
• Boy tira
• Basilio
• Isagani
• Madam
Monday, May 11, 2009
Starstruck(My Outfit Isn't That Scandalous)
Yesterday it just felt really weird. Because I swear I could honestly feel the heavy stares of people on me. Mostly it was girls. They'd start looking at my feet then at my face. After lunch kasi we went to cubao. First we went to sm then we went to gateway.
Well there would even be some girls, though they've passed me na they'd still look at my back. The looks are that heavy. I guess they were thinking that I wasn't wearing anything under outfit other that underwear. haha!. After some adults would look at my outfit, next they'd look at my mom. It was as if they were giving her the message "How could you let your daughter wear something like that?". I thought my outfit my fine. haha. I was happy with it. It felt really hot kasi to wear jeans underneath it. So I wore shorts. Hindi lang talaga halata shorts ko. Sometimes nga I would even like to look at those girls staring at me and shout out loud "Oh!. May shorts ako noh!" and then lift up my blouse while shouting it. haha. I know it's a really weird thought. But, hell, na consious ako eh. My mom just kept on telling me that "Maganda yung legs mo, mga inggit lang yung mga yun". Medyo na lift naman yung spirits ko non. haha. Anyway below is a pic of my outfit. Just to show that it wasn't that revealing. haha. Justification lang. Oo na, pacute ako sa picture:))
Well there would even be some girls, though they've passed me na they'd still look at my back. The looks are that heavy. I guess they were thinking that I wasn't wearing anything under outfit other that underwear. haha!. After some adults would look at my outfit, next they'd look at my mom. It was as if they were giving her the message "How could you let your daughter wear something like that?". I thought my outfit my fine. haha. I was happy with it. It felt really hot kasi to wear jeans underneath it. So I wore shorts. Hindi lang talaga halata shorts ko. Sometimes nga I would even like to look at those girls staring at me and shout out loud "Oh!. May shorts ako noh!" and then lift up my blouse while shouting it. haha. I know it's a really weird thought. But, hell, na consious ako eh. My mom just kept on telling me that "Maganda yung legs mo, mga inggit lang yung mga yun". Medyo na lift naman yung spirits ko non. haha. Anyway below is a pic of my outfit. Just to show that it wasn't that revealing. haha. Justification lang. Oo na, pacute ako sa picture:))
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