Thursday, May 27, 2010


What makes us a stronger person?

For me, what makes me a stronger is just to be able to understand and have enough patience. I guess started with this topic because my cousin, who I have really known my whole life is really driving me insane.

Get ready for my rants in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....

He's really obnoxious and sometimes just really rude. He was like this when we were kids, he practically drowned me when we were little. His boastfulness receded probably when we were in high school. And now I just can't stand him. He's practically back to his old ways.

We often get into debates and sometimes when he and I hang out I just don't talk to him that much because I don't want to get into another fight with him. I show him how uninterested I am in what he's talking about.

He tells me that his mind is more mature. So he thinks that starting arguments is really mature. Tss yeah right.

He knows I'm peeved at him and I know he tries to win me back by doing nice things. But then he kinda jerks off again. I just don't get him. Yes we're really close but sometimes it's to the point that I can't stand him.

And just because he's older he thinks that he can control me. Like when we talked about me voting, he said that I should vote for whoever he votes for. Tsssss

He keeps on talking to me how Aquino will ruin the Philippines and that it's no use to vote. Oh yeah, that coming from someone who actually sold his vote.

Yes, I'm upset with him. I just try to tell myself that he thinks he'll be a stronger person if he keeps on pushing people around.

I'm just trying to lengthen my patience even more.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Figuring It All Out

I am slowly becoming more and more insane by the day. I don't know. Maybe it's because I start to wrack my brain for answers now. And I'm actually trying to figure out things in life. Of course there won't always be an answer for everything.

Maybe I'm just trying to grow up. I seriously don't know the answer to my insanity.

I think it's cause I've lost myself. In my essay in MC for the entrance exam, there was one question that asked what is my greatest joy in life. I answered, to know who I am. To be honest, I have no idea why the hell I answered that. I guess I just didn't know what to answer which was why I put that in writing.

Truth be told I really don't know that much about myself. I'm still confused on tho I really am. I might be just one those people in the world who go on with their lives, soul searching. Trying to figure out who they are.

As of now I know very little about myself and just like everyone else i'm only sure about myself 80% of the time. I believe that the hardest person to figure out is yourself. You know that you've gone bonkers when you yourself can't even explain your own actions, because you yourself are responsible for all that.

Am I the only one who is soul searching in this earth?. No. I'm a teenager, those so called scientists would say that it's normal for an adolescent like me to go soul searching. But when an adult does it most people think that they're crazy.

I believe that soul searching chooses no one, no age, no limit. It's just a matter of how smart you are to actually figure out yourself.

For my case, I'll wait, I will be patient enough to just go on with my life. As I go on I will slowly learn more about who I am. I may not get the answers to my questions right now. But I'm sure I will get them in one way or another:)