I don't know why, but I feel confused. When in fact, there's nothing to be confused about. See, that's what makes me an even more confused and confusing person. It's just that constantly observing others as a bystander in certain "messy" situations, may often even put you into the middle of that "mess". I'm not saying that I'm trying to fix a problem. It's just that, most of the time when we "observe", it's not just observing, it's almost like we're toying with emotions. Well, most people just don't give a damn about feelings. It's scary how most people end up that way. Sometimes we don;t even realize that what we're doing is wrong. Only when it all comes to an end, then we regret every mistake we've done.
We were created out of love and that's how we do it all. It makes me feel so lost in translation that I don't even know if some of the things I've been doing have been justifiable, maybe in certain means they have been. But mostly I'm thinking that they weren't. It leaves me with this feeling of uncertainty, like there's a blackhole somewhere inside of you and you're not sure where it is or how you're going to fill that hole up.
Maybe this feeling is just something that comes from me being scared and being unsure of what I want in life. Well, I know I'm not alone on this. I can honestly say that I don't know where I'll head to in my life or what I want to do after I graduate college. I mean c'mon which incoming college freshman knows where they're heading to huh? Well if there is one who knows call me and let me now aight? I'd love to hear from him/her.
I guess that probably right now the answer is to just keep my head high and feel more confident. After all the start of college is not so far. I need to be more outgoing and sociable. Hell, I don't want to be a loner for the rest of my school life. I really need to let go and take things in moderation. I'll just toughen up and be more like me.
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