Beautiful Dirty Rich

I really need to control my spending habits. Well, last week when Lulu and I went to greenhills, we basically went shopping I already spent 400 that time on some cute shoes that were on sale on a stall we saw in greenhills which was entitled ichigo. Below are the pictures:
Then this today, I went out to greenhills again with Lulu and this time with Jean. Damn, we passed by the ichigo stall over at theatre mall, and well I couldn't resist. I bought the heels that I was eyeing on on their website. They were effing cute kasi eh. I do it in the name of fashion. haha! I couldn't resist. They were 800 pesos.:



So now, I've spent a total of 1,200 on shoes alone. My gosh, I really need to control my spending habits. I need to learn to save better since I'm gonna start college soon. If I don't learn how to spend wisely I'm going to have money problems. That's why I pray that I learn not to spend too much. Or else.........

But hell, aren't the shoes hella cute?. haha!

Stop and Stare

Lyrics | OneRepublic Lyrics | Stop & Stare Lyrics

OneRepublic - Stop & Stare - OneRepublic


For some people who are clearly updated with music, you must be familiar with lyrics of the song above. For those who aren't, it's "Stop and Stare" by One Republic. Listen to it if you're not sure about the song. I'm not necessarily sure about what kind of meaning the writer is trying to send out to the listeners. But in my opinion, I think what he/she is trying to say is that, we often compare ourselves to others. Especially when they have things that we want. It brings out the worst in us, aka our inner-demon. We often think that "I'm just getting even, there's nothing bad about that right?". Well, we may actually be wrong on so many levels.

The question of what's right and wrong comes into mind. Sometimes, getting even is not exactly the best answer to our problems. And even our way of getting things all fair is not really good and well. Right when our conscience tells us to stop, we just go on, as if we're no human being, like a villain with a heart of stone.

I'll admit that I've done things that I'm not exactly proud of, regarding the "getting even" issue. I regret that. I can never really be sure if I can take them back though.

*credits to my friend Mica for the idea of adding songs to blogs. ILY bitch:)

Mercy(Taking Things In Moderation)

I don't know why, but I feel confused. When in fact, there's nothing to be confused about. See, that's what makes me an even more confused and confusing person. It's just that constantly observing others as a bystander in certain "messy" situations, may often even put you into the middle of that "mess". I'm not saying that I'm trying to fix a problem. It's just that, most of the time when we "observe", it's not just observing, it's almost like we're toying with emotions. Well, most people just don't give a damn about feelings. It's scary how most people end up that way. Sometimes we don;t even realize that what we're doing is wrong. Only when it all comes to an end, then we regret every mistake we've done.

We were created out of love and that's how we do it all. It makes me feel so lost in translation that I don't even know if some of the things I've been doing have been justifiable, maybe in certain means they have been. But mostly I'm thinking that they weren't. It leaves me with this feeling of uncertainty, like there's a blackhole somewhere inside of you and you're not sure where it is or how you're going to fill that hole up.

Maybe this feeling is just something that comes from me being scared and being unsure of what I want in life. Well, I know I'm not alone on this. I can honestly say that I don't know where I'll head to in my life or what I want to do after I graduate college. I mean c'mon which incoming college freshman knows where they're heading to huh? Well if there is one who knows call me and let me now aight? I'd love to hear from him/her.

I guess that probably right now the answer is to just keep my head high and feel more confident. After all the start of college is not so far. I need to be more outgoing and sociable. Hell, I don't want to be a loner for the rest of my school life. I really need to let go and take things in moderation. I'll just toughen up and be more like me.

This I Promise You

Ever since the rain started today, I just couldn't stop listening to the song Chasing Pavements by Adele. I think the song has a really deep meaning. It's a cool song to listen to when it's raining outside or maybe when you're feeling all sentimental inside then it would work out for some I guess. It just paved way for me to think, we really do actually chose to move on even though we have no idea where the hell we're going to end up. Living in this world is more like an adventure and well let's just say that choices may come in the smallest of care packages or through just one text message or phone call from anyone.

Right now I've got my headphones plugged in to my computer speakers, one of the reasons is because my dad is watching this concert on dvd and this is also to minimize the noise pollution in this place. And it just so happens that I'm listening to Chasing Pavements.

I feel all emo inside. Ugh. I can't believe this. It's just that alot of confusing things have been going on. It really makes me think alot. Being alone makes me think about things that could be, should be, should've been or what shouldn't be. That's why I constantly rely on gimmicks with my friends, which of course brings me comfort. It really keeps me from those "thoughts".

Now the song's switched to Gentlemen Don't by Gabe Bondoc. For those who don't know him he's this guy on youtube who has an absolutely amazing voice. I found out about him cause of Jino. haha. Anyway, I miss writing songs. The last song I wrote was for the gratitude song for our graduation. I used to write songs almost every week. But why does it feel like I've got writers block when it comes to songs. I must still me looking for that sole inspiration for writing again. I used to practically write about anything. Hell, I even wrote a song once about someone who I really hated. haha. I'm hoping that my writing songs thing will come back. I'm praying that an inspiration will come really really soon. Til then, I guess I'm just going to have to keep on blogging out my emotions.

Breakeven

Crap. I know, what an interesting first word to start out my blog right?. My gosh. I can't believe this kasi. Today as I was checking out all of my internet accounts. I of course opened my friendster account. Yes I still have that. haha. Anyway, as I was checking out the comments and the latest comment was from my very good friend Kara, which says:

hey smexi patsy!:)))

i miss you na!!! uiiiii hndi na ako uste! :(((
i cant hug u na!!! bcczdcbdcbs txttxt nlng.. wish us both luck! :> imy!!

After reading the comment, my gosh, parang biglaan akong nalungkot. Ewan ko kung bakit. Kasi parang as in miss ko na talaga si Kara and then parang I felt alone all over again. Kasi this time I can say that I know completely no one from my course. This is a total OMG moment for me. (that sounds so gay). haha. Yet again, I am even more scared. But hence I really will prepare myself for college. I realize even more that I need to socialize and me open to change. Most especially if change comes in a whirlwind. Scaaaaarrryyy. haha. After all this is what life is, it's full of suprises.

But don't get me wrong. Kara I love you girl. I know na UP ka na right?. You deserve to be there. Ang galing mo kasing mag drawing. You truly are talented. Kudos to you my friend. I really do wish us the best of luck my hot and sexy friend. Again I love you and I miss you like hell Kara!

Gentlemen Don't

While I was putting my itunes today on shuffle, I noticed na there were some songs that I know I never really put in my computer. Kasi nagka virus yung computer namin mga last month ata, basta mga early this year. Tapos siguro napasok ng nag aayos yung mga songs na hindi ko alam kung pano nakapasok sa computer namin. haha.

Like for example "We Belong" by Toni Gonzaga. Grabe talaga. Tapos and dami pang Akon. Hindi pa yun yung pinaka grabe na artist ah. Yung pinaka bongga na artist sila Regine Velasquez and Jose Mari Chan. Natatawa na lang ako pag biglang naririnig ko yung mga kanta nila habang nakikipag chat ako or nag lalaro ng games. It's not that I think that they're baduy artists ah. It's just that hindi ako fan. haha.

Kaya I still wonder kung bakit I never thought of deleting those songs. I only realized it today. I must be lame myself:))))))))

One Last Cry

to explain the title of my blog well I have decided that starting today para kakaiba and interesting yung mga blogs/albums ko this summer, whatever song shall play on my itunes when I put it on shuffle will be the title of my posts, no matter how crazy or how walang connection siya sa post i I shall still use is as a title:)

So today, ever since 1 this afternoon I've been trying to register sa unlimited, and until now, so it's 8:34 on my watch, hindi pa rin ako unlimited:|. Sinasabi sa kin ng globe na I'm registered daw sa isang unlimited service. So I text stop and send it to the number. Then sabi naman sa kin hindi naman daw ako registered sa isang unlimited service. I kept on doing the same thing for like 8 friggin' hours, and so far it obviously hasn't worked. All I'm saying is GLOBE ETERNALLY SUCKS!. haha!. Well, it's true, I'm trying to be patient, but that ain't getting me anywhere. I'll just register tomorrow again.

Next, smart bro sucks too. Nawalan kami ng internet for like 3 days. So today pinaayos. Then ang bagal pa rin. Sana tom medyo bumalik na siya sa normal.

I'm starting to have a feeling that technology hates me. And I hate it back. Well, parang we have this love-hate relationship. Ohkayy, I'm starting to sound like a madwoman here. haha. Nvm:))

HSS sure is a far cry from UST

When I first went to UST i actually never imagined myself actually studying there, but hell, I just payed for my reservation there last week. Rosa accompanied me there. Actually ako nga lang ata yung tao don na nagdala ng kaibigan. Yung iba kasi puro parent kasama. haha. Si Rosa naging mom ko for the day:))

After I payed for my reservation I found out that I had to come back to UST to give my card and my credentials. Later that day nag bonding kami ni Rosa. Kung san san na kami nakapunta. Tumambay pa kami sa gym kung san may mga nag tratraining na guys. haha!. There was even this guy that looked liked Frances' so-called "husband"..haha!;)

But during that day I still never saw myself wearing my uniform and going around the bldg for my classes. As in NEVER. I guess it was because of the fact that i was with a really good friend of mine in UST and that i was still holding on to my HSS memories at that moment.

So, today I went to school with my dad and yaya(Ate Inday) to get my card. I was too nervous about my trip to UST rather than my card at the moment. haha. When I saw my card i thought it was ok. But then after i got my card and my grad pics from Miss P. I bid her goodbye then I rode the car. As we were driving away from school I was still nervous on our ride about sa jeep. Because my dad was just gonna drop off me and Ate Inday sa sakayan ng jeep. Dapat nga hihirit pa ko sa dad ko na ihatid ako eh. Pero he had to go to work na kasi kaya di nalang ako umangal.

Well my dad dropped us off over at Christ the King. Then we waited for about 2 minutes for a jeep to Quiapo. I didn't know the sakayan of the FX kasi eh. Then when we got to UST. I had my card photocopied. Then we went to my bldg which was the college of fine arts and design. Then nawala ako actually. haha. Typical me. I went na kung san san sa bldg. Only to find out that I just had to head over to the place where i went to before. I felt so stupid niyan. haha.

After submitting my credentials I went downstairs then met up with Ate Inday. We bought a couple of drinks then went home. But as I was walking UST with her parang I had this sense of loneliness. Which slapped me with the reality that, I don't know absolutely anyone from my course, of course exempted si Kara don. haha. But anyway, I realized even more that I needed to wake up from my moments of longing for my friends and that I actually needed to face the actual 1st of college alone. It makes you think of the 1st day of pre school. Where you were nervous to the bone about making new friends, that you were actually scared that no one would like you.

I guess that this is a reality that every senior high school graduate/incoming college freshman has to face. And the words ALONE, CLUELESS and NEW come into our minds constantly. Actually they're starting to bug me like hell. I honestly miss my friends, my classmates/former classmates, teachers and basically everything in HSS.

But I know that I have to face this thing all on my own. I'm sure I'll make new friends. But no one could ever compare to the friends that I have now.