Not Just Anybody

Ugh. for these past 3 weeks I've been eating nonstop. To be honest I've gained about 5-10 lbs I think. I'm starting to get worried, well not because I'm obsessing over my figure, it's just that, probably about once in 3 months my mood suddenly fluctuates and I become all melancholy for no reason. It's almost like I feel that my life is over and that there's this black hole in my soul.

I used to watch tv shows to get me all fine and shiz but that isn't working. Now I think I'm dealing with that through eating alot. It's like there's this emptiness that could only be filled by eating. I know it's sad. I've seriously looked into depression on the internet and I'm starting to believe that it is depression. What makes me suffer from this, hell I don't know. I mean I eat even when I'm not hungry. Maybe I need to check myself in with a psychiatrist but I'm just too scared that they'd say I've gone bonkers or something.

All I know is with writing about it here on my blog without being judged by family or friends who don't understand me makes me somewhat feel better.

I've been too lazy to attend some of my classes, this isn't good for me. Usually I would go into class no matter what. But now I seriously don't feel like myself.

Maybe it's pressure. Maybe it's stress. I'm praying so hard to help me get through this.

If you will leave comments for this blog I hope it's not rude. I seriously don't need those right now. I want to be able to go through this without any harsh judgement.

Majorly Random

I haven't blogged in a while. I've been too lazy and too busy.

Went through so many crazy things these past few weeks with my friends and well I totally embarrassed myself this morning. I'll get over it in a week or so. Anyway I will make further kwento once I have more time. I need to leave to study for my computer quiz tom.

*my dad has sore eyes. WAAAAH. we can't touch him, i can't afford to get sick again. my prof's would murder me once i get back. haha

Just Listen

Above is a picture of me and my friend Joanna. I've known her ever since we were in grade school and we've been friends for 5 or 6 years now.

Is it possible to actually worry for a person so much that all you do is practically give them sermons on almost every conversation you have?. Well I believe it is. And well you would've guessed it. I'm worried for Joanna. See that's how much I love her. I think she's throwing her life away, day by day. All the booze and sex aren't really going to get you anything. Just a bad reputation, which in the future would make you regret all that you did.

You see I've been reading this book by Paolo Coelho entitled "Eleven Minutes". It's about this woman from Brazil who leaves to go to Sweden and soon becomes a prostitute and meets this man who changes her belief in both sex and love.

Well, even before reading the book I believe that sex is something beautiful and sacred. It's shared by two people who I think should genuinely love each other. But with my friend over there, I think that she's pretty much sex crazed over her boyfriend who's a total ass, and I swear that I am not exaggerating. And from what I've been hearing from her weekly phonecalls to me, she's been drinking about almost every day of the week. It's as if she thinks she's so cool cause of all that.

All that she's been getting from me is "You shouldn't do that.. You shouldn't do this". She's getting tired of listening to me nag all the time and I'm tired of nagging her about how stupid she's living her life. I miss the old her, well she was actually clueless back then and funny and sweet. Now she just loves to talk back to her friends and think that she knows more than us all cause she isn't a virgin anymore. I think that's just bullshit.

Oh yeah, I nag her all the time because most of the time she's a slave to her douche of a boyfriend. Last week she's been going on telling us that she's half single. WELL HALF SINGLE MY FRIGGIN' ASS. The only reason she's saying that is cause her so called "boyfriend who loves her so effin' much" also has another boyfriend. I mean, who the hell gives in to that kind of crap?!. Being a 3rd wheel when there should only be the 2 of you. And almost once a month she calls me up crying about how much her boyfriend hurt her, but she still wants to be with him cause she loves him. Well I think your love us crap. Sorry sweetie. But love shouldn't hurt that way. Well at least it shouldn't hurt that much. And if he loves you so much then why do you come crying to me when he's constantly hurting you?

The big thing here is, grow up. Actually take time to look at what the hell you're doing with you're life. You think that what you're doing is only affecting you?. Well it's starting to affect the people who actually love you. I think that you confuse love for lust. And well lust is an intense or unrestrained sexual craving. You think so wrong of sex. Don't go on wasting what you have. Soon enough you're going to lose yourself and the people who care for you.

This is how much I care for you, I actually dedicated a whole blog post to you.