Monday, March 2, 2009

I am soooooo not ready to leave HSS yet

I have this feeling of anger, sadness and indigestion put into a giant ball, right inside of me. Never in my life yet again have I ever felt this angry before. Having all of those feelings at once sucks ass. The start of the fucking year has been a whirlwind. This made me think ALOT. well thinking doesn't necessarily bring that much good to me or anyone else if you analyze things or if you know me really well. I also find it rather strange to feel this way. These mix of bad emotions cause nothing but regret for me and irritation for others. I promised myself this year that i would live my life with no regrets, but so far, that isn't working for me.

Being a high school student requires you to not only be mentally ready, but also to be emotionally ready. It's almost like if you were to ride a roller coaster being unprepared, scared and alone. That's what friends are mostly for. They help you no matter what and well, studying in an all girls school doesn't really calm down the rumor brigade right?.

To add to that, in high school, I also learned about gossip the hard way. It spreads faster than a wildfire. It also comes out in different forms. Just like a pretzel, it gets twisted into different forms until people get the right shape they want. If related to gossip, it passes to different people at different speeds(and hell if it's in a girls school then it would be faster than a formula 1 race car) and even the news turns into something that's very very far from the truth.

But I'm not saying that high school is all that bad. Since I'm a senior and well the fact is, graduation is near. I've been studying in HSS for about 11 years now, so that means that I'm already used to everything there. That's why when I think about getting my diplomat and walking out of the gates as an actual graduate, just means that I'm leaving HSS for good. Getting used to the idea may take awhile, but hopefully I'll get over it.

I can certainly say that my days as a senior are numbered. But hey, it was fun while it lasted. If I have my friends along side me, I know that it's not so bad. Even if we'll part ways, I'm still praying to God that we'll still keep in close contact with each other. I can never forget the teachers too though, they basically made up almost my whole life. Haha. I'll miss my friends, my teachers, Sister Tess, the school, my HSS life and well maybe just everything that makes up who I am that's in HSS.

Ok, I know I'm being melodramatic, but well, this is who I am:)

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