TRUST
in my opinion it's one of those words that are most abused in the english language or any language come to think of it..most of us know it's meaning as "Assured resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship, or other sound principle, of another person; confidence; reliance; reliance."
you give trust when you feel that they are one of your strongest confidantes or you just really know in your heart and mind that they won't throw away or waste your trust like an old raggedy doll..giving trust to someone means that they're that close to you or that you believe that their that reliable
i never thought that while being a kid, that i'd encounter people abusing my trust, because, hell, call me stupid or anything..basta i thought that all of the people who i befriended were nice and sensible people..hell akala ko nga marunong akong mamili eh..pero i find out that i'm wrong at all the wrong places and circumstances..it sucks so much
i know that i'm not the only one who has experienced this..if i seem too emotional then i don't care..my aim is not to make tama sa iba but to just vent my feelings..and writing about them seems to be my escape right now..i feel confused about everything i know and about everything that's been happening..i don't know what to do about them..i feel that i'm much more stupid and ignorant than i thought..never had i even imagined that i go through this..or even think about this
in my 16 years of living never had i felt this kind of feeling..it's almost like a deep sadness is covering me right now..and that that sadness may take alot to hide..i find myself constantly disturbed by the things around me..i don't know if i can handle it much longer..i pray that this is just a phase that i'm going through and that i'll go through it fine
i think that i know too much about certain people and that knowing too much may lead to lies and deceit..i've lied for too many times..and guess that just makes hiding emotions an even harder task..i honestly don't know what i want..and what i know for sure..i just want to feel happy and safe again..it makes me remember a line that i read once in this book "Nowhere in the world is safe"..i come to believe that as of now, that that line is true.
i'm the kind of person who's optimistic and i try my best to look at the bright side of things..but right now..i just really can't seem to find the light or justice in everything that i'm thinking about..i don't feel like myself right now..i honestly feel that time has caught up to me and that i can never escape reality..ever
