Splurge Away

I'm actually proud of myself today. Because today I bought alot of stuff with my own hard earned money, ok fine sometimes I got it cause I wouldn't eat at school but hey, I still eat. It's not like I starve myself. Anyway back to the story, today right after my philosophy quiz I left school and went to St. Lukes cause my sister had a check up for her unbearable cough. The doctor said that she had some signs of asthma and gave her some meds. Hope she feels better soon:(

Anyway after my mom and I brought my sister home we went to megamall all of a sudden and daym i brought my wallet full of my savings. I actually only wanted to go to Forever 21 to buy myself some jeggings and I ended up buying alot more. haha. BTW I apologize for the crappy quality of the pictures, I was too lazy to get my camera and take photos so I just took photos using my webcam:))))

So after going to F21 I headed off to jellybean to see if the oxford's I wanted were on sale. Sadly they didn't have the oxford's anymore so I bought myself a crop top. I've been dying to buy me one of 'em crop tops.

Then my mom txted me and told me that she was in f21, I ran all the way from one side to the other just to get to my mom. haha. Then when I got there she was planning to buy some shirts and well I saw these really cute sneakers and noticed they were pretty cheap so I looked at my wallet to see if I could still afford them and well, my money was enough so I bought it right there and then, well after fitting them ofcourse. haha

I spent about almost 2k:))))). I only splurge once a year, and I guess I spent this one time eh?. haha. And now I know why I bought so much stuff, I was stressed out this whole week, I've been studying for quizzes which I've been having almost everyday this week. Maybe the clothes and the sneakers were my subliminal way of rewarding myself for those late nights of studying.

Well, after my mom and I met up with my dad at greenhills, we had yummy dinner and I had yummy ice cream cake for dinner. Today was fun but tomorrow I will be studying all day for my prelims. Will be focusing on Biology and Statistics tomorrow. I pray that I pass all my exams.

New Year. New Hopes. New Stories.

First of all Happy New Year everyone:). Hope all of your fingers are still in tact. haha. Here are some photos I took during NYE, sorry na medyo fail, this is my 1st time to take photos using a dslr so it'll take me some getting used to but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it.

My family and I spent the NY over at my tita's place in Tagaytay. It was really cold there. It reminded me a bit of the weather in L.A. First day we stayed there it was kind of like karaoke night. I think some couldn't even let go of the mic. LOL

Then the next day for NYE, in the morning we went to Caleruega a church in Batangas that is seriously gorgeous. The entrance fee is about 30Php per person, if you enjoy nature and you're religious you should check it out, well even if you're not religious you should check it out.



Anyway after that we rested and went to mass then the celebrations began. Oh yeah and one more thing, one of my best friends Luisa Estanislao Eastlaw (http://luisaeastlaw.blogspot.com) was with us during this whole trip. Cool right?;)

So anyway today was the 1st school day of this year. As some of you may recall I got the chicken pox and I didn't attend classes for the last 2 weeks of classes for 2010. I got back to school again and I know I missed alot but I know I can catch up. We have some essays we have due in RC and I have to remember to make a brochure in Computer. There is so much to do. Prelims are in 2 weeks, I'm kind of in danger in my stat class, IDK if I'll still pass, I failed the 1st test and I didn't get to take the 2nd exam since I got the chicken pox and I remember hearing my prof say that she doesn't give special exams. huhu. I am seriously thinking about dropping the subject before the prelims, but then I don't want to give up that easily. I'll still talk to my stat prof tomorrow morning and ask her if she can teach me about the lessons I missed. My only actual wish this year was that I do well on my grades and that my profs have mercy on me. Dear Lord help me please.

Huhu. I am off to read for my RC essay and think of ideas for my Computer brochure. I CAN DO THIS!. haha

I Wish You A Merry Christmas

How was your Christmas?. Mine was ok, somehow a bit beyond average, but ok. Spent Christmas Eve here at home. I didn't take much pictures though cause I felt really sick from my allergies. Just went to misa de galeo, watched Shrek 3 on dvd, opened gifts and called it a night. haha

The next day we went to my auntie and uncle's place for lunch with my dad's side. We kinda went crazy with the continuous shots.

Then later for dinner we went over to my mom's aunt's place(ya get it?) for dinner with my mother's side of the family. The one thing I like about going to their place is that I get to play with my little cousin Tonito. He's a cute kid with lots of energy. He kinda makes me feel old but young at the same time. haha

Then later that night since the adults saw me bring my DSLR cam they wanted a group picture and let me tell you that we haven't had a group picture in years. Our last group pictre was when I think I was either 5 or 6 years old and I'm 18 now so yeah, it's been a really long time. Even though we weren't really complete at least we were a family.


*Still trying to look for our old family photo and we're waaaay more than this. haha

My Weekend

Wooh. I finally got to go out yesterday after about 14 days. haha. Well ok being the weight conscious girl I was I checked my weight yesterday morning. And well I lost 3 more lbs. haha. Which I wonder why because I was stuck here at home eating and sleeping.

Anyway when I woke up my mom and dad surprised me by telling me that I could go out with them to the mall since my sores were already closed up. I was seriously excited. haha. I was the type of girl that would practically go out every week. Well due to my excitement I left my money which I was supposed to use to buy Christmas gifts. Err. haha. Well after shopping for a few stuff with my mom, we met up with my dad.

We had shabu-shabu for lunch. Yum yum:). I kinda ate too much. haha. But I had yummy yogurt for dessert though:P

When I got home we got home my mom gave me my memory card back for my dslr and well I got bored and started taking photos.

My family and I had steak for dinner. HAHAH. Did I make you drool?. :P. Yes the day was filled with food.

Anyway today my family and I went to mass and I saw one of my ultimate crushes. One of Cory Aquino's grandson's and no it wasn't baby James. haha. It was Kiko. One of Balsy Aquino's kids. My day was already fulfilled when I saw him. Oh he's so cute in a nerdy way:">

Then my sister and I spent the whole day at home. Oh yeah and we had pizza for dinner. I only had one piece though cause I ate a danish for merienda. Me so happy this weekend:D

Spin Me Around

Have any of you guys seen the movie Easy A?. Well my friends and I watched it on DVD over at Tricia's place I think 3 weeks ago.

I loved the movie. It stars Emma Stone and it's all about her being a social outcast all cause people think she was a whore. I can relate with the whole whore part with how rumors can get totally twisted.

Most people really don't know how bad it feels to be judged by rumors, without actually getting to know a person. No one likes to be judged, well we can't really sway away from that but we face it every day whether we like it or not. And having rumors spread about you that are completely false don't exactly brighten up your day. I will admit that I have been talked about by other people in high school and it wasn't even in my school, it was in another school. You can't really stop those things from spreading, sometimes you only find out about rumors about you when someone is actually brave enough to ask you the truth. Which I will say doesn't happen often. There are always sides to every story. And no matter what angle you look at it people are still going to judge. As they say "Everyone's a critic". I've tried to change my reputation to some people who think they know me but I'm still wronged. I've learned somehow that even if you try to tell the truth some people just won't listen. Somehow I just deal with it because I know my family and friends know the truth which is what matters most. It was hard to understand why rumors were going on but hey I'm tired of trying to make people's minds change. After all you can't please everyone.

Anyway I also loved the soundtrack. I've tried for weeks to find the soundtrack. Finally found it this afternoon. Try searching for Life Gives Me Lemons Make Lemonade by The Boy Least Likely To. Fun song. Cheers you up on a down day. Just listened to it and it makes me smile:)

P.S. Still can't go to school. I'm still contagious:|:)))

Like It's the End of the World

This year was the so called "debut year". Where practically almost everyone I know, including me have turned 18. The big 1 8. The year of being legal. Wherein you can actually get arrested for the shit that you do. haha.

I've been invited to ALOT of parties this year and I went to most of them. One of them was even an out of the blue invite, surprised that I got invited myself. Of course coming from an all girls school in high school you'd kind of expect that. And this is also probably the year that I abused alcohol the most. I haven't drank so much. haha. Maybe this is why I need to get a grip when it comes to alcohol.

Anyway I've had my fair share of parties. Which is probably why I will actually miss the hype of getting all dolled up, looking for that perfect dress to wear and to even actually search for transpo to get to the event. I also lost a lot of money this year. Having to constantly search for gifts almost week after week. And to even experience going from one debut to another is totally nerve wracking but a delight cause you remember that you love these people. haha.

I didn't really have a fancy debut cause I didn't need one. I just treated booze and food to my friends and family, I felt that was enough. Then somehow, your birthday is actually a day that you should enjoy yourself with your loved ones.

Turning 18 is kind of a big step. People make me feel all responsible now. It kinda sucks but hey, isn't this what most of us have been asking for ever since we were kids?. To be treated like a grown up. Responsibility is heavy. Most especially given the fact that you can get arrested now. I mean you can do shit and all that just don't get caught. HAHA.

Anyway here's to the year that was.

A year full of surprises that are actually worth remembering.

We are off to another adventure. I'll be turning 19 next year(duuuh). Let's see what'll happen then.

Ugh Love

I think love is stupid. I haven't really been in love with anyone of the opposite sex. Well I have, but I think it was puppy love, it was waaaaay back in high school pa. I was cheated on, of course the break up was mutual. Enough of that, I mean I've seen so many people around me getting hurt and shit. I've been hurt myself.

Love makes you do stupid things. It's unpredictable, a constant nuisance and it blurs out all other entities. I'm not bitter or anything, it's just that, is loving another person romantically really necessary?. Is romance what keeps us going?. I mean we can live life with just our friends and family but I guess some people never really find that enough.

Well who am I to say how important romance is. Maybe I could have a boyfriend next year or in a few days. I never know really. Is that the beauty of love?. It's unpredictability?

I'm no expert on love, I've had a few flings here and there but maybe that's just what's got me all worked up. People these days love for all the wrong reasons. I mean I know that the feeling of being loved is absolutely incomparable to any feeling in this world. But now through seeing other peoples relationships I just see that most people love to know how it feels, to test out the waters. They don't actually love, they just love for the sake of it.

I may sound bitter but who cares. This is my blog I'll write whatever I feel like writing.

Maybe my view on romance may change. Maybe not. But until that day comes I will continue to despise it. I guess I just really don't like the thought of fake love. It hurts too much.

Irked

It's been 4 days since I've gone to school. I feel really itchy. Fvck. MUST RESIST. haha

Thank God it's a Friday so I won't really have to miss so much more. I've preoccupied myself with things. I watched the first Harry Potter movie, on DVD of course. Then I started to study on my other notes. And I read the book my friend Joni gave to me on my birthday. It's been about 4 months since my birthday and only last night did I decide to read the book my friend gave me. LOL

The book is Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho. I actually indirectly asked my friend for this book. My other friends told me that Eleven Minutes was really good. So I decided to put it on my wishlist for my birthday. Anyway the book is really nice and I kinda have to take a break from reading it. It's basically about a Brazilian prostitute, got you thinking didn't I?. haha

So I haven't really been eating with ease either. On Monday I started getting some pox in my mouth. The one on the roof of my mouth hurts alot. I can't eat much so I've reduced myself my soft foods. Mainly ice cream and soup. I eat chips every now and then but it just hurts a lot. Err. I can't even eat well.

Well the spots are slowly fading. If this continues I might get to go to school by Wednesday. HOPEFULLY.

What the Pox?!

Today I found out that I've got chickenpox. Greeeaaaatt. I'm about to miss the last 2 weeks of classes for this year. Whoopde-doo. Notice my enthusiasm, which is dabbed with complete sarcasm by the way.

When I woke up last Sunday I had a nightmare that I was crying cause I missed alot of my classes. Never thought it would actually come true. Being absent in college sucks. In college it's every man or in my case every woman for herself. And to add to that I'm an irregular cause I shifter courses, so I don't have a permanent section. I mean I have friends in almost all my classes except Bio and English. Don't get me wrong I mean the sections I'm taking those classes in are friendly but I haven't really quite gotten any friends there that would help me if I missed any classes. And then I also have this subject which is Rizal course, my professor there used to by professor in Asian Civ last semester, with him you get an incentive in your grade if you come to his class every meeting. I got an incentive last semester, so much for an incentive this semester. Oh yeah and we also have this quiz for RC next Monday, still figuring out how I'm going to get to take that quiz.

Anyway, last Sunday morning I woke up with these bloches all over my face, I thought they were just pimples, but then they started spreading all over my body. So I went to a nearby clinic and I feared that it was chickenpox, but the doctor told me it wasn't. He told me it was just some skin allergies. Then he told me I could go to school the next day. So I did. My friend put her arm around mine. Uh-oh. I hope she's up to date with her shots or that she's already had chickenpox.

I doubted the doctor's diagnosis, so I decided not to go to school today and have another check up. When I woke up this morning I felt worse, my head started to ache, I got a sore throat, the bloches started looking even gross and I started getting one of the roof of my mouth. Looks like the medications the 1st doctor gave me aren't working. My mom went out on a business trip so I practically begged my dad to take me to the hospital, I was supposed to go alone but I hated people staring at me ever since that accident I had in the 2nd grade, when people stare at me I can't help but feel all worried. Well my dad is really busy so him taking me to the hospital really helped me alot. When we got to the dermatologist she was with another patient, so she let us sit down and wait for about 5-10 mins. She was this old lady but very nice and heavily adorned with jewelry that I'm sure would've cost more than tuition fee. haha. Anyway she asked what my problem was and she took one look at me and told me it was chickenpox. She was pretty flabbergasted that the 1st doctor never thought it was chickenpox when the way I appeared you could easily tell I had chicken pox. She told me I couldn't go to school for 2 weeks ans she wrote me and excuse note. I was tearing up in her office cause I couldn't miss 2 weeks os school, but I had no choice, I couldn't infect other people with what I had.

As my dad and I went home he told me he would talk to my college's dean and see what he could do about my situation. My dad called UST and they asked him to write a letter and attach the doctor's certificate to it. See that's how much my dad loves me, he drove all the way from here to UST just for me. And let me tell you that I leave really far away from UST, like an hour away if you drive it. I hope my professors would really be considerate and send me assignments or something. It is after all the Christmas season. Ho-ho-ho

Well this is it for me, I figured that I shouldn't be moping around cause it won't get me anywhere. I'm still praying that my professors won't condemn me for being absent for the last 2 weeks of school for the year. haha. Well here is a smile from me to you.

I plan to have a Harry Potter marathon tomorrow if I'm feeling better. haha. I have nothing else to do. After all my mom called me a few minutes ago to tell me to not feel stressed. I CAN GET OVER THIS!:)

Bitchy Mood

I'm not really into the mood to talk to anyone, as in opening my mouth and actually saying things. I feel depressed. I don't want to listen to alot of people now. Every time someone opens their mouth I just wish they would shut up. I know, I'm not exactly little miss sunshine today. I don't plan to elaborate on why i feel this way. Just understand that I do.

People here try to cheer me up but it doesn't work. I get all tense and teary eyed. Weird right?. Maybe the feeling I have right now is much more deeper. Maybe it's coming from somewhere I never thought even existed.

I won't be going to school tomorrow. I'll be missing alot. I hope they don't do much tomorrow so I won't miss alot of activities.

Social Justice

Our Theo professor asked us to make a reaction/realization paper regarding what we learned in our previous topic which was "Social Justice". Kinda weird but I first typed it here, I guess words flow more naturally for me here when I blog. So here goes my essay:

Social justice. Justice in general is something that we all seek. Whether it be for others or for ourselves. Everyday we see different people in different places, we all want the same thing, CHANGE. Being able to have the actual power to make that chance is a pretty big responsibility that alot are given but very few actually take advantage of that. I, try to do my part as best as I can. I save up, donate some of my savings to a charity and feel like, "There I've done my part somehow." But still seeing the mess reminds of how screwed up life is and how much attention it actually needs.

Being able to discuss the importance of social justice in theology further enlightens us on how much work we need to put into to save our world. I already got to watch the film by Joey Velasco (may he R.I.P) when I was around 4th year high school and getting to watch the film reminds you of how lucky you actually are to have objects in your life that most of the time you incessantly whine about. You slowly realize that you're a part of something bigger than yourself. We were all made in this world for a special purpose or maybe even special purposes, to atleast fulfill part of those purposes as to help those who actually need it. I mean who are we to complain about not eating at the right time or not getting the gadget we wanted for our birthday, when someone out there would feel lucky enough to get 2 cans of sardines on their dining table which they feel is enough to feed their family. I know that I complain alot, I'm not perfect and neither is the world. But I will help make a difference in this world because I know I can.

Painting above is by Joey Velasco I believe it's entitled "Hapag ng Pag-asa". Sorry but correct me if I'm wrong.

Random Thought

We've all got problems. When I was a kid I thought it was ok to just run away from them. Thinking that they won't bother, so I just let other people deal with it. Mostly those other people are my parents. But as you grow up sometimes people forget to tell you you have to deal with most things yourself and you figure that out all by yourself too.

Now, problems to me are complicated. Too hazy to even comprehend. Problems are everywhere. Every morning we see them, in the news, in magazines, at school, at work etc. They're inescapable. Solve one problem something else comes up.

I'm not trying to be a bitch here and be all pessimistic. I'm just being realistic and saying what I see right now in this world. I know for sure that this isn't the alcohol talking because I'm not drunk and the amount of vodka I drank a few moments ago won't equal to that of me doing and saying crazy things.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I love life. But sometimes when you actually think about life at this time things just come in retrospect. You contemplate more and you think of things you've never even thought of before. Life has both positive and negative effects. We still need to keep on mind that everyday is a gift and that every moment may be sign for us to just think and reflect about where we are now.

Happy Birthday tito Babit:)

Today's my godfather/ninong's birthday, well okay here in the Philippines it was yesterday and in LA where my ninong is his birthday i think was yesterday. Ok enough of the time zone thing. I didn't get to make a blogpost yesterday cause I was really sick and and I couldn't think well.

So here it is, my uncle basically became my uncle cause he's my dad's brother. I only met him about December last year. Yes, only last year. My family and I visited him in the States and we stayed there for almost a month. I actually kind of got close to him. He was really cool and he doesn't really look like his age, i think he's almost 50, shhhh, don't tell. LOL.

Anyway my family here in the Philippines misses him. He's practically my idol when it comes to studies and he's pretty rad. I love every single one of my family members and I always wish for their happiness. Isn't it cool that I have a whole blog dedicated to him. IDK if he'll be able to read this though.

Happy birthday tito Babit. We love you so so much. We hope to go back there and visit you again in the states.

Bazaar Alert:)

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MOTHERF*CKER

Excuse the title. I'm feeling rather angry today.

Today's my sister's birthday. I don't have a lot of homework. Just have a quiz to study for but it's an essay and I know I can write my way out of essays.

I've been feeling a bit angry and frustrated these past few weeks. Friends are supposed to be your stress reliever. Your part of actual peace in your life. I haven't really been feeling that vibe with my other friends. I'm not backstabbing or anything. It's just that I'm tired of this. I've been tired because of all this drama that I feel like most of us have been dragged into.

I'm not used to drama. There is drama in my life but I don't deal with it to this extent, most of the time I just either laugh it off or just not give a damn anymore. That's how I feel numb sometimes. Call me heartless but I'm just tired of this. Helping people who actually don't need it drains the energy out of you. Because it leaves you feeling disappointed and last night I just kept on texting swear words to my friend. That shows how angry I was.

I'm trying to be a good sport here and I try to keep playing the game. But isn't life a friggin team sport?. How can you play when the other members won't cooperate?

The other thing is, I'M FVCKING TIRED OF BEING CALLED A BOYFRIEND STEALER. My mom warned me about this. Being too close to guys who are already taken, I told her that their girlfriends know that I'm just a friend. And she told me to make sure of that.

I guess I was wrong on that part. This is probably the 4th time I've been thought of as a boyfriend stealer. I know my boundaries. I've been cheated on and I know that it isn't pretty. It hurts like hell, so why the heck would I try and steal other people's boyfriends when I know it won't do any good to me. I swear that I lay my line between friendship and romance and I sure as hell make sure that I don't cross it. Right now to be honest I feel offended and it makes me look a slut.

Maybe these girls don't realize it but they feel like they're the only one's being hurt. I'm hurt even more. I have feelings too. I've gone through a rocky relationship and somehow that's taught me something. These girls should realize that I've gone through enough to know what I should and shouldn't do and stop feeling to fvcking insecure. I swear I just want the whole world to...

We'll be going to Sn'R later. I'll be expecting a huge slice of pizza when I get there. That'll be one source of relief for today.

Urgh....

I get sudden hits of depression sometimes. I know, weird. I just get all fvcking sad and get all emo. It's not like I'm bipolar or anything. It's just that my mood swings are pretty freaky. I think I'm depressed now cause tomorrow's a Thursday. I don't know anyone from my Thursday classes.

AS IN 0. ZILCH

People keep on staring at me. It's awkward. I hate people staring at me. Especially if I don't know them. I know that my look doesn't really give of "Ms. Friendly". Even my good friends say that their first impression of me was stand-offish. For short I kinda look like a bitch. Which I admit doesn't really win over alot of friends at first. Which is why some people seek my friends opinions on who I really am. I'm one of the nicest and friendliest people that you will ever meet. I swear. I guess I give off a tough exterior cause of the pain I've felt my whole life.

I MUST REMIND MYSELF TO....

People say I have a really nice smile. I smile alot. But only when I'm with my friends and family.But nonetheless, I must stay positive!. Must continue to be optimistic!. Must not let these things get in the way. Must read my assignment for tomorrow's bio class!

Ooh College..

The 1st week of classes was crazy and stressful. In my MWF classes I know at least 3 people in each of my classes. But when it came to my TTh classes I only knew like 2 people and that's only in one class. It's hard to feel lonely when you're in a room with a bunch of people who know each other. And with my Journalism lanyard I stick out like a sore thumb all cause I only have one class in a Journalism section. I vow to make friends in my TTh classes so that I wouldn't feel awkward this whole semester.

Assignments for the weekend: My RC(Rizal Course) professor gave us some books to read on for the weekend. Tried searching for them in the library after my class last Friday, no luck. Someone must've checked them out. I decided to try and look for them at National Bookstore, though I'd but them instead. Only found one of the books. Still reading it, page 1-20. Pretty interesting book, but I find it long and winding.

Then we have this assignment for Computer class. Search for some abbreviated words.

I'm already on my 2nd year of college and I, like all people are having a hard time. This is only my 1st week and I feel so stressed out. The sched I made would slowly kill me. No breaks on MWF. Though I made a 3 hr break for myself in my TTh sched. Hoping that everything would work out alright this semester.

Good thing I'll get to see my high school friends tomorrow. I'm sure that'll cheer me up:)

Newswriting Here I Come

I've been stressing over my major subject for 2 friggin weeks now. It's a pre requisite of all our other major subjects. The thing is the hardest subjects to actually get are the 1st year ones. They don't give out the 1st year subjects until like the last minute when classes actually friggin' start.

The full load is 24 units composed of 8 subjects. 2 weeks ago was the encoding of subjects for irregulars. Since I had no choice I had 2nd year subjects encoded. But I left out one space for my major, praying and hoping that I would get it if God let me. A lot of us needed that major subject badly. We kept on being persistent little creeps, but still they kept on telling us to leave our names in the list. The friggin list doesn't do anything. They either lose it or just don't mind it at all.

So this Monday was our enrollment, tried seeing if we could get the 1st year subjects already. They said we should wait tomorrow. I already enrolled and just said that I'd add the subject I needed next time. Tuesday came, still nothing, on Wednesday pa daw. The day when classes start. Dandy right?.

I prayed so hard last night. I even told myself stuff like, "I will get that slot. I will get into Newswriting." So I came to the dean's office at 7 in the morning. Waited for about 30 mins til they asked us to go downstairs for encoding again of subjects.

I was told that only special subjects were offered for encoding. And my major wasn't one of them. Still I was persistent. I listed my major subject in the form, my friend saw it and told me that it wasn't offered. I said I would still try no matter what. That's how bad I needed and wanted that slot.

And thank God my persistence paid of, I GOT THE MAJOR SUBJECT. Which is Newswriting. And can I say "PHEW". Well I missed my first subject this morning just to enroll for my major subject but at least it was for a good cause.

Thank you Lord and I swear I will really try to rock this semester. My grades last sem were high. But I really want to go for all 1 this time:)

I Am Everyday People

After so many months I've only watched the indie movie the runaways this afternoon. I loved it actually. I'm very into indie movies. Most especially the fact that it's about rock legends the Runaways.

I enjoyed watching the movie and it made me miss just basically leaning back and rocking to a good old classic album. So I decided to download the album "Fit To Be Tied". I've been listening to it for 3 hours now. I feel refreshed, empowered and I feel like myself.

Somehow there's this sense in me that says that I lost myself or just basically I lost some of my personality. Listening to this album actually made me relax and let go. Maybe if you listen to it you'd feel so out of your wits cause of how loud it is. I'm inspired to write songs again, it's been about a year since I've written my last song. And I wrote my last song cause I was asked to and cause I was paid for it.

I miss that feeling of inspiration to write things on the spot. To just have a line constantly run through your mind, waiting for that zing of ideas. I'm a writer and an artist. This is what I live for. I thought I lost that spirit. But I know now it's coming back. Slowly but at least it's coming back.

Thank you Joan Jett and thank you music. You inspired me.

Complicated

Humans.

Among all the living species in this earth, I believe that they are the hardest to live with and the hardest kind to figure out. We may say that science would help us figure humans out but that isn't enough. I can't really identify who people are or what they really want. Figuring out who they are. People are too spontaneous. The baggage that comes with them fails to inform us of how heavy the load they carry or if they carry any load at all.

We practically spend a lifetime either trying to live with them or just being fed up with them and we just suddenly die. No one has a definite answer to who they are. Maybe that's why in relationship stat's in social networks there's a "IT'S COMPLICATED" button to choose from.

Isn't that the best definition for who are "COMPLICATED". Always have been. Always will be. I know that humans are special. But what makes them special?. Is it their bipolar ways?. Their constant love of all things lively?. The range of differences that complete them?. Or maybe there really is something inside of them that makes them so special.