Eheads Hangover:p

saturday for me was the best day ever!..haha..almost everyone knows why i believe that saturday was the best day for me..haha..it's mainly because of the Eheads concert..but it's also for the reason that i got to bond with my ever so good friend Jizza..hehe..we haven't hung out in such a long time kasi eh..and well..Jizza and i have loved the Eheads ever since like..high school..actually si Jizza nung 1st year pa ata..ako i developed a fondness over them this high school..tapos super na addict lang talaga ako this senior year..the Eheads have such a big impact on us..haha..i know that it's pretty rare to find some teens like us who appreciate them

anyway when Jizza and i got to MOA last saturday we kept on screaming sa car kasi we honestly couldn't believe that we were actually there..it honestly felt sooooo surreal..while waiting all that i could think of was that we were about to actually hear and see them in the flesh!!..it sent chills down my spine and ofcourse a tili from me..i mean c'mon..what do you expect from me?..i'm still in my teens nga naman..and plus i'm such a fan girl nga naman!..when the MTV VJ'S started plugging their new shows it bore alot of people to death..kasi we were all friggin' psyched up na for the concert..but then we had to wait for another 15-20 mins

when the opening vid started playing, hell did my heart start to pump with excitement..and as the backwards alphabet went on i knew that it was gonna stop with the

..and as they went on stage..playing one of my super duper fav songs..Magasin..i knew right then that i would never trade anything for that event..EVER..haha..as they went on, and i sang my friggin' heart out..(btw nung simula pa lang ng concert pumipiyok na ko, kaya pagdating ng kalahati ng 1st set halos wala na ko sa tono pero kanta pa rin ako nang kanta..haha!..)anyway was totally irritated by the couples who were with us in the Gold A section..most girls were just there kasi their boyfriend was gonna watch..one super irritating girl who was beside me even kept on texting at the half of the 2nd set until the end of the 3rd set..which wanted me to really lose my temper..and even at one point kasi she was putting on make up..which insulted me..it actually made me think of tearing her hair out..there were so many people who i thought was such a waste of space..parang they don't deserved to be there..while Jizza and i were walking to the venue nga i even told her na "feel ko yung iba dito manonood lang para masabi na nakanood sila"..which i really thought was true once i witnessed the things going on before me aside from the performance of the Eheads

but in spite of the people who were such a waste of space..i still super duper mega enjoyed the concert!!..just being given a chance to actually witness them gave me the feeling of such utter joy..even though i felt thirsty, and that we were standing there for hours and the smokers couldn't stop effing smoking for even for a few hours..it didn't really matter, from the point that the Eheads started playing, it was as if i didn't give a damn about the world..which makes me happy..haha..well..hindi lang happy actually..i'm ECSTATIC!!..Jizza and i both think that our high school lives are complete..well parang half of our lives were complete na nga from that point eh which makes me laugh and super happy when i think about it

What mattered to me naman kasi talaga was that the Eheads finished all their sets..may bonus pa nga eh..haha..and that i would get to see them and hear them even if it was to be my first and last time to see and actually hear them..all of that was fulfilled..and well the concert really did exceed my expectations which is damn good enough for me

I am soooooo not ready to leave HSS yet

I have this feeling of anger, sadness and indigestion put into a giant ball, right inside of me. Never in my life yet again have I ever felt this angry before. Having all of those feelings at once sucks ass. The start of the fucking year has been a whirlwind. This made me think ALOT. well thinking doesn't necessarily bring that much good to me or anyone else if you analyze things or if you know me really well. I also find it rather strange to feel this way. These mix of bad emotions cause nothing but regret for me and irritation for others. I promised myself this year that i would live my life with no regrets, but so far, that isn't working for me.

Being a high school student requires you to not only be mentally ready, but also to be emotionally ready. It's almost like if you were to ride a roller coaster being unprepared, scared and alone. That's what friends are mostly for. They help you no matter what and well, studying in an all girls school doesn't really calm down the rumor brigade right?.

To add to that, in high school, I also learned about gossip the hard way. It spreads faster than a wildfire. It also comes out in different forms. Just like a pretzel, it gets twisted into different forms until people get the right shape they want. If related to gossip, it passes to different people at different speeds(and hell if it's in a girls school then it would be faster than a formula 1 race car) and even the news turns into something that's very very far from the truth.

But I'm not saying that high school is all that bad. Since I'm a senior and well the fact is, graduation is near. I've been studying in HSS for about 11 years now, so that means that I'm already used to everything there. That's why when I think about getting my diplomat and walking out of the gates as an actual graduate, just means that I'm leaving HSS for good. Getting used to the idea may take awhile, but hopefully I'll get over it.

I can certainly say that my days as a senior are numbered. But hey, it was fun while it lasted. If I have my friends along side me, I know that it's not so bad. Even if we'll part ways, I'm still praying to God that we'll still keep in close contact with each other. I can never forget the teachers too though, they basically made up almost my whole life. Haha. I'll miss my friends, my teachers, Sister Tess, the school, my HSS life and well maybe just everything that makes up who I am that's in HSS.

Ok, I know I'm being melodramatic, but well, this is who I am:)

trust.secrets.confusion

TRUST

in my opinion it's one of those words that are most abused in the english language or any language come to think of it..most of us know it's meaning as "Assured resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship, or other sound principle, of another person; confidence; reliance; reliance."

you give trust when you feel that they are one of your strongest confidantes or you just really know in your heart and mind that they won't throw away or waste your trust like an old raggedy doll..giving trust to someone means that they're that close to you or that you believe that their that reliable

i never thought that while being a kid, that i'd encounter people abusing my trust, because, hell, call me stupid or anything..basta i thought that all of the people who i befriended were nice and sensible people..hell akala ko nga marunong akong mamili eh..pero i find out that i'm wrong at all the wrong places and circumstances..it sucks so much

i know that i'm not the only one who has experienced this..if i seem too emotional then i don't care..my aim is not to make tama sa iba but to just vent my feelings..and writing about them seems to be my escape right now..i feel confused about everything i know and about everything that's been happening..i don't know what to do about them..i feel that i'm much more stupid and ignorant than i thought..never had i even imagined that i go through this..or even think about this

in my 16 years of living never had i felt this kind of feeling..it's almost like a deep sadness is covering me right now..and that that sadness may take alot to hide..i find myself constantly disturbed by the things around me..i don't know if i can handle it much longer..i pray that this is just a phase that i'm going through and that i'll go through it fine

i think that i know too much about certain people and that knowing too much may lead to lies and deceit..i've lied for too many times..and guess that just makes hiding emotions an even harder task..i honestly don't know what i want..and what i know for sure..i just want to feel happy and safe again..it makes me remember a line that i read once in this book "Nowhere in the world is safe"..i come to believe that as of now, that that line is true.

i'm the kind of person who's optimistic and i try my best to look at the bright side of things..but right now..i just really can't seem to find the light or justice in everything that i'm thinking about..i don't feel like myself right now..i honestly feel that time has caught up to me and that i can never escape reality..ever