Wednesday, December 30, 2009



I believe sometimes that most things in this world like batteries or even gas just have to run out. Nothing in this world is perfect, which is what makes it fair. Which makes some of us believe that the world is a cruel and unfair place, well, at least that's how it is for the pessimists.

I have never seen the world as perfect or imperfect, I just see it as, the world. We live not knowing what will come next or who we'll see or meet today or tomorrow. That's what makes life hard yet fun. Living on the unexpected is something that is constant.

What does love have to do with this?. Love should never really be even tried to search, it'll just come to you at the right time and place. Love may be cruel, love may be sweet. Then to love, is to accept. Accepting requires so much from us.

I have had so many thoughts in my head that I would want to let out so much. Then, let me let out the thoughts that I have always been thinking about this one person, let me start:

I still love you, I haven't tried to deny it or confirm it. I've only actually admited to the word love right now. I feel like a total idiot for still loving you. Why you ask?. Because, it hurts so much to still love someone who used to love you, but has eyes for someone else now. Up until this day I hang on to your words, as if you just said them to me. I really want to get over you. It's been years and no progress at all. I know I will get over you, I just don't know when. Until that day comes, I guess I will still be clinging to the memories we once had. I can never fess up to my feelings like how I did back in high school, I don't know why. I will always be here, secretly loving you, secretly hurting and praying everyday that I will let you go.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Live here?. In The States?. Are you serious?!

Here in San Francisco. I've been to a lot of places here in the states. Mostly California. My parents ask me if I could live here and all I say is "Ok lang.". The thought of me living here is just not really right for me. I love it in the Philippines and as it may be too distant to say but I know that I'll be working in the Philippines. I hope I'll be like my parents who live and work in the Phils.

I'm not saying that the US sucks, I'm just saying that, I guess, I'd like it better in a place that I'm familiar in, adjusting really is quite a challenge for many. I don't if I see myself working here. But as time goes by, it's almost like in the future I would be wrong about my assumptions. Let's see then.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


We live in such a complex world. It forces us to learn about how to figure it out. Which makes me think, can we truly figure it out ourselves?

Seeing all the mass destruction happening around me, makes me feel scared and uncertain of the future ahead. Fear is sometimes a rational feeling, well, depending on the situation of course. As of now, whatever is being laid in front of us, is mostly causing not only a national outrage, but an international one at that.

Not being able to listen and actually be a human being are just one of the many errors I see in this. Justice is what is being called and hopefully it will be served. But here's the thing, will it happen at the right time and will it really be served to those who deserve it?

Saturday, December 5, 2009


Dreams-A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

Well at least that's what the says. Ever since I was in elementary I have been having these strange things that makes me feel much more different than others. Dreams take me into another world that well I sometimes wish I had never even gone to.

You see, sometimes my dreams come true. Which makes everything oh so bizarre. I don't know what my dreams mean, but every time I dream of something that I honestly don't understand, I scour the internet for answers to my strangest dreams.

I encounter dreams about death, love and life. Nothing seems to make sense and maybe nothing ever will. Being in a constant state of confusion isn't really good for the health. But here's the thing the people who are in my dreams are mostly the one's whom I'm close to or at least used to be close to.

The scariest part is, I sometimes have dreams of someone who I don't know. Well, they're constantly being tortured and I once had this dream that one of our family friends killed themselves.

I don't what these dreams are telling me or even if they're telling me something. I'm pretty sure that it's not something I ate. I just don't know what to do anymore once I dream.